I’m no expert on this topic, yet I seemingly know a little about it. My friend’s mother has a lot of knowledge on this topic and some of it she shared with me, it seriously changed my life.
Every single one of us, has a pain body. Imagine it as a sort of energy field surrounding us. As Eckhard Tolle says our pain body is the sum of our suffering in our life. The ego feeds off of pain and misery and by that nurtures the pain body, makes it bigger. It can get so big, the pain body can take over, this is what is called Depression. Now I know, depression is basically a chemical imbalance in the brain, but that imbalance needs to come from somewhere too, if you catch my drift.
Basically at some point your pain body gets so big, you live off of pain. You need it to feel alive (that’s where the ego again plays in favor). This might be hard to understand at first, but let me give you an example to make it easier:
From an early age Carol learned that by being defiant she would get what she wanted and even attention as an extra bonus. She would throw temper tantrum after temper tantrum and used them to get exactly what she wanted when she wanted it. When Carol hit puberty her hormones started to kick in, she got pimples and they pained her a lot. Her grades got worse, her emotional pain grew and at some point everyone was worried about her. She felt like the pressure was very big on her shoulders and like nothing really helped. Carol felt trapped in those bad situations. In her adult life Carol never felt like she deserved the job she applied for, she was shy, quiet and miserable inside. Her friends tried everything to cheer her up, but nothing seemed to help. In the end Carol decided to take her own life, because her suffering got to big for her to carry anymore.
So what can we see here?
Carol learned at an early age that negative feelings would get her what she wanted. Her ego grew with age and so did her pain body. It got so big Carol couldn’t control it anymore, at the same time everyone gave her attention because they were worried. Her life seemed very negative to her and she didn’t know why, her pain body had taken over. When it got so big Carol did the last thing, the last selfish thing her ego wanted, she killed herself. Because Carol’s pain body was such a strong energy around her, Carol also attracted more and more negative energy into her life.
Now there are also ways your pain body can grow without you even noticing it. In my case I have a very strong pain body, or used to have, I got it by having a very bad car accident and after that living in pain for quite some time. It took me a hot minute to firstly notice it and then secondly become aware of all the ways it affected me and thirdly making it retrieve again. Getting your pain body to retrieve is one of the harder things, making it bigger is easy. You really have to become aware of it, notice everything you do or say, intentionally or unintentionally. Analyzing EVERYTHING. And then focus, focus on all the positive things in your life. Write them down, look at them every day, whenever you feel like life is going to shit. Remember them, engrain them in your brain, be grateful for them.
Once your pain body has reached a certain power, growing gets easier and easier for it. I, for example, have to work very hard not to fall into old patterns again. Once you get a sense of your own pain body, it will get easier to see it in others and you’ll be surprised at what you see. How many actions are actually driven by this energy field surrounding them.
Now, if you are an HSP (Highly Sensitive Person) stuff can get a little harder for you, as your ego does not only feed off of your own pain. Your pain body can grow simply by surrounding yourself with bad energies. Spending a lot of time with someone that has a very prominent pain body, can literally drive you into the same hole, they dug for themselves. Energies can be helpful, but also very dangerous for HSP’s, always have that in mind.
A pain body is nothing permanent. Not in your life, not in anyone else’s. Everyone can get rid of it, no matter how big it gets, there is always hope. Yes, you will have to work hard, but yes, by god, it is worth it. Every single second of the work you put in against your own dark side is worth it.